Why ‘Sledging’ Is the Most Toxic Trend in Holiday Dating
The holidays are often considered the most beautiful time of the year, with festive lights, cozy nights by the fire, and an overall sense of joy and togetherness. For many, it’s a season of romance when singles and couples alike find themselves more inclined to meet new people or celebrate with their partners. However, a disturbing new trend has been creeping into the dating scene in recent years, one that’s leaving a trail of emotional harm and broken connections: sledging.
In the context of holiday dating, “sledging” refers to a form of verbal, emotional, or online assault—often subtle or disguised as playful banter—that leaves its victims feeling humiliated, demoralized, or emotionally scarred. The trend may seem harmless on the surface, but it has profound and lasting consequences. In this guest post, we’ll explore why sledging is the most toxic holiday dating trend and why it’s damaging not only to individuals but also to the very essence of romantic connections during the holiday season.
What Is Sledging in Holiday Dating?
To understand why sledging is so toxic, we first need to define it clearly. Sledging, a term that has gained traction in recent years, originates from the world of competitive sports, where it describes the use of taunts or insults aimed at an opponent to get into their head. In the context of holiday dating, however, it’s less about competition and more about undermining or belittling someone—especially a potential partner—under the guise of humor or “friendly teasing.”
In dating, this might look like:
- Sarcastic comments about a person’s appearance, career, or lifestyle choices.
- She was mocking behavior about someone’s relationship history or current situation.
- Jokes at the expense of someone’s insecurities, whether about their body, job, or social standing.
- Dismissive attitudes towards their interests or hobbies are often framed as “just a joke” when confronted.
What starts as a seemingly innocent comment often escalates into a pattern of emotional manipulation and control. The festive, feel-good atmosphere of the holidays only amplifies the pain caused by sledging, because the season is typically associated with love, family, and togetherness. The contrast between these ideals and the experience of being emotionally undermined can make the hurt feel even more intense.
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Why Sledging Is Harmful
- It Destroys Self-Esteem
The foundation of any healthy romantic relationship is mutual respect. When a person is subjected to sledging, it chips away at their self-esteem, making them question their worth. If someone repeatedly mocks or belittles their appearance, intelligence, or choices, it sends a powerful message: You’re not enough. Over time, this erodes self-confidence and can cause lasting emotional scars. The holiday season, already emotionally charged, magnifies the impact of these insults, leaving the victim feeling more isolated and unworthy.
- It Promotes Toxic Humor
One of the main dangers of sledging is that it promotes toxic humor in relationships. Humor should be something that brings people together, helps people relax, and strengthens connections. Instead, sledging introduces cruelty disguised as humor, making the victim feel ridiculed rather than cherished. What may be passed off as “funny” banter can quickly turn into emotional manipulation, leading people to believe that putting others down is a normal part of dating or relationships.
For example, imagine a scenario where someone makes fun of a date’s job or salary. “So, how’s your dream job going? It must be nice not to have to work too hard!” While this may seem like harmless teasing, it subtly reinforces the idea that the person is inferior or less capable. Over time, this can wear down their sense of value in the relationship, leading them to accept further jabs as part of “the game.”
- It Sets Unrealistic Expectations
The holidays often bring heightened expectations about romance. Movies, songs, and social media tell us that the holiday season is the perfect time to find love or deepen connections. But sledging can create unrealistic and damaging expectations about how relationships should play out. Instead of supporting each other, partners may feel the need to compete or tear each other down to meet an arbitrary ideal of perfection.
For instance, if one partner makes a joke about another’s lack of holiday spirit or their inability to meet family expectations, it fosters the idea that love must be earned through meeting impossible standards. This prevents individuals from showing their true selves and can result in toxic dynamics where one person feels like they’re constantly underperforming or disappointing their partner.
- It Devalues Communication and Trust
Healthy relationships are built on communication and trust. Sledging undermines these essential elements. When someone engages in sledging, they create an environment where open, honest conversations become difficult. Victims may begin to hold back their true feelings out of fear that their partner will mock or belittle them. Over time, this emotional distance can erode the trust between two people, creating an atmosphere of insecurity.
For example, if someone tries to express their feelings about a hurtful comment but is met with further jokes or dismissive remarks, they might begin to doubt their own perceptions of the relationship. The emotional rollercoaster of trying to understand whether a comment was meant to hurt or just a playful joke can lead to confusion, resentment, and, eventually, the breakdown of the relationship.
- It Reinforces Gender Norms and Stereotypes
Sledging is often gendered, with men and women subjected to different types of ridicule. For example, women may face jabs related to their appearance or their ability to meet societal beauty standards, while men may experience sledging about their career or financial success. This reinforces harmful stereotypes and societal expectations that individuals must meet specific benchmarks to be worthy of love or affection.
This type of emotional manipulation enforces traditional gender roles where women are expected to be conventionally attractive, and men must be providers or succeed financially to be considered “good enough.” As a result, the victim of sledding may feel that their worth is solely tied to these externally defined standards rather than their character, kindness, or other qualities that make them valuable as a person.
- It Promotes a Fear of Vulnerability
At its core, dating is about vulnerability. It’s about being open and sharing personal experiences, hopes, and fears with someone you trust. Sledging, however, discourages vulnerability. If someone’s attempts at being open or showing affection are met with mockery or ridicule, they will quickly close themselves off to the person who hurt them. This self-protective response is a natural reaction, but it ultimately prevents emotional intimacy and connection from developing.
The holidays are a time when many people open themselves up to the idea of love and connection. Still, sledging can sabotage these moments by turning what should be a joyful experience into an emotionally unsafe one. For someone to be constantly second-guessing whether their partner genuinely cares or is simply waiting for a moment to mock them creates a wall that stifles the growth of the relationship.
How to Avoid Sledging in Holiday Dating
Avoiding sledging requires conscious effort and a commitment to emotional respect. Here are a few tips to foster a healthier, more supportive approach to holiday dating:
- Be Mindful of Boundaries
What might seem like a harmless joke to one person can be deeply hurtful to another? Always check in with your date about their comfort levels. Please don’t assume that they’ll find everything funny or that they’ll tolerate being made fun of. Respecting boundaries is the first step toward building trust and intimacy. - Engage in Positive Communication
Instead of making snide remarks or teasing, focus on positive communication. Compliment your partner, express your appreciation for them, and engage in supportive conversations that encourage growth and emotional connection. If something is bothering you, address it directly without resorting to sarcasm or jokes. - Understand the Impact of Words
Be aware that words have power. Teasing and humor should not come at the expense of someone’s dignity or self-esteem. Recognize that what might seem like playful banter could be received very differently depending on the context and the emotional state of your date. - Celebrate Each Other’s Uniqueness
Rather than focusing on flaws or differences, embrace the uniqueness of your partner. Holiday dating should be about enjoying each other’s company, not making them feel inadequate. Celebrate their individuality and foster a sense of acceptance and belonging.
Conclusion
Sledging is the most toxic trend in holiday dating because it poisons the joy, connection, and love that should come with the season. Whether done knowingly or out of ignorance, it has long-lasting effects on the emotional well-being of its victims, eroding trust, confidence, and self-worth. If we want to create healthier, more meaningful relationships during the holidays, we must move away from toxic humor and instead prioritize kindness, respect, and genuine connection. Let’s make the holiday season a time for building each other up rather than tearing each other down.
